Sunday, November 23, 2014

Hello again, old friend.

It is heartbreaking, to say the least, reliving the heartache and uncertainty endured by my 24-year-old self all those years ago.

If I could, I would go back in time and reassure her. I will tell her that things are always bigger than us, than what we perceive it to be.

Will I give her a blow-by-blow account of how things turned out? Nope.

I had to go on that journey. It was part of my course.

It has been 5 years since my last post.

Let me tell you what has happened since.

I graduated and obtained the Certificate of Legal Practice on the first attempt. Pupillage was tough and subsequently I was retained in my 5th month. I left c&c to work in a regional law firm. I entered my 5th year of practice in September and was promoted to Senior Associate. 

Oh, and one more thing.


*smiles*

To my 24-year-old self, 

All that fear, all that uncertainty and heartache. Despite it all, you kept on going with the faith that everything happens for a reason. 

Thank you. Thank you for your faith.

Thursday, November 05, 2009

reminder #854

there is ALWAYS a reason for everything.

Wednesday, November 04, 2009

diamonds in her back

“i remember, my earliest memory of her was noticing how so very beautiful she is, and i remembered wanting to be like her. i wanted to be as calm and as poised as she is”

“she was never alone, for she was his constant companion. their relationship puzzled me at times, for it did not seem like he was her master, and, she, his servant as sometimes i would see him gaze at her with a look of satisfaction on his face”

“there have been times when i’ll peep through the ajar door and see him on lounging on the bed, staring at her while she was enveloped in a sheer robe. sometimes i see her standing, not facing him as he caresses her back gently. he must love her, i think.”

“my master has never been a person who frightened me, but maybe its because i'm a little girl.”

“he is always surrounded by big, big men. she looked so small and delicate by his side. the big big men seem to fear him, and from what i see, my master was their master too.”

“one day, i could feel a change in the air. like something was not right”

“her calm dignity never wavered. she was as poised as the first time i remember seeing her”

“i don’t see him anywhere, surrounded by the big big men. i wonder where they all went”

“master is in trouble. i must do what i can.”

“i run through the mansion. i see strangers everywhere, but they pay no notice to me”

“i enter a room behind a hidden door, where master goes when he needs some time alone”

“i see her, with the same calm look on her beautiful face.”

“without a word, she unbuttons her shirt".”

“curious, i stared”

“she turns around, shielding my innocent eyes of her bare chest”

“even in her simple action, she captivates me”

“what i saw,was etched into me as though from a burning hot brand”

“set in her back, were 5-6 huge diamonds of various colours.”

“she had diamonds in her back”

“my master disfigured her so that he could hide his diamonds”

“i looked at her back once more, and she was bleeding”

“take them, and go.”

“no, i dont know what to do”

“i cannot be responsible for them anymore. he has turned me into a vessel, but i am decaying inside”

“what did master do to you?why?”

“to protect himself from his enemies. if i carry them with me, as they are part of me, it will go undetected”

“but..he cut holes in you…the diamonds  are where your flesh should be”

“i am the only one he trusts”

“what has he done to you, look you’re bleeding”

“again she pleaded with me to take those wretched diamonds and save myself while i can”

“i cant leave my golden haired angel behind.”

“i’ll find help, no matter what, you must make it”

 

“the next thing i know, i was on the floor. someone has struck me on the head”

“through blurry eyes, i see her on the floor, lying in a pool of her own blood”

“i see green ballet flats, but i do not see the owner”

“i see someone ripping out the diamonds, handling them carefully, with no regard to the vessel”

“even in death, she is calm”

“my very last memory of her is that she no longer has those diamonds in her back”

“and my very last memory was thinking how i will grow up to be the person she is, until i heard a loud noise and a pain in my chest”

“as i fade into unconsciousness, i know i will see her again. when she is whole once more”

Tuesday, November 03, 2009

its not intentional..

it is not that i hate my job or dread going to work.
i just forgot how difficult it was to be where i am now, and the 600-odd crowd who didnt make it would kill to be where i am now.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

help me.
i really really need help.from somebody, anybody? please.

help me. help me help me.
please.