i'll feel what you feel no more

okay so its the typical sunday afternoon where yours truly will be sound asleep in her bed.but,(forgive me for stating the obvious) i am wide awake as you can most probably tell.hah.

you know, sometimes i ask myself why i allow myself to make excuses for other people.seriously, bear with me as i try to understand this.i make excuses for other people,especially those who have really INTERESTING characters.why?

when someone has been particularly rude to me, i'll tell myself, oh, no this person is having a bad day..or if someone decides to ignore me,i'll just say, oh no, this person couldn't get a chance to talk to me today..

again,why?

i know that people do have their ups and downs,believe me, i have my fair share.but when i start making excuses for people, in reality, it is not REALLY what i tell myself it is.i know, beyond the excuses i make for others, i know, there is something more.

let me explain this better..when someone is TRULY sick, i know it, and i don't have to tell myself that.the same goes when they are having a bad day..i know it, and i don't have to tell it to MYSELF. get it so far?the problem arises when i have to be creative and i tell myself comfort stories.that problem started to appear quite recently, and its pretty disturbing when it did because i haven't been making excuses on other people's behalf to myself for a long time already...

i guess i can be quite sensitive to the other person's moods...somehow i sense animosity very well, as a matter of fact.but as i said before, i am no longer the person that i was before.no more making excuses for other people, hello, geri darling, what's the point...

so when this particular problem started, believe you me, i was freaking out.i started to tell myself all sorts of stories,call me schizo,huh no that i'm not..i am just of the opinion that people should have a more positive image of others rather than to believe the very worst...sometimes it works for me but sometimes it doesn't...anyway,after feeling like crap i decided i am not going to give a damn anymore.

no point, when you know that you did not do anything wrong.and surprise, surprise, i felt much better.i wasn't bound by how the other person felt, or whether thay have a problem with me anymore...do you know how liberated i felt once i am no longer influenced by how another person feels?



the same when an innocent man is freed of a crime he did not do.